Well, I rode into town on a horse that wasn’t there
Breathing in a lungful of non-existent air
The bartender asked me what I’d like to drink
I said, “Buddy, you ain’t real, and I don’t truly think.”
You see this dusty tavern? You see this swinging door?
It’s just a grand illusion on a fabricated floor
I’d ask you for a whiskey, I’d ask you for a light
But Being is a fiction, so I’ll just say goodnight
Oh, there ain’t nothing here, no matter how you stare
No earth beneath my boot heels, no smoke up in the air
The universe is empty, a hollow, dusty shell
And if you think I’m lying, well, you don’t exist as well
Now let’s just say, for argument, that something did exist
A solid piece of matter hiding out there in the mist
A mountain or a dollar bill, a pistol or a hound
Well, even if it’s sitting there, it never can be found
Your mind is just a prison, your senses are a trap
You’re looking for a treasure without a proper map
The object and the subject are a million miles apart
You can’t grasp the universe with a mortal, beating heart
Now let’s pretend I found the truth, I held it in my hand
I comprehend the cosmos, I finally understand
I run into the plaza, I shout it to the crowd
But the words are just a rattle, they’re just a noisy cloud
My concept of a “table” ain’t the table in your head
By the time the sentence finishes, the meaning’s cold and dead
I’m charging fifty drachmas just to teach you how to speak
But language is a barrier, and everybody’s weak
Oh, there ain’t nothing here, no matter how you stare
No earth beneath my boot heels, no smoke up in the air
The universe is empty, a hollow, dusty shell
And if you think I’m lying, well, you don’t exist as well
I’d thank you for your time, but time is just a word
This song is just a rumor that you think you might have heard
I’d sing another verse, but there’s nothing left to say…
And you can’t comprehend it…
And I ain’t here anyway…